John Parankimalil Fr PD Johny, Educationist, Story-Teller And Motivator

John Parankimalil

Educationist, Story-Teller and Motivator

Progressive Parenting

February 25, 2016

Many parents think their responsibility end with birthing, feeding, clothing, schooling and providing shelter to their offspring. What they often miss out on is the true holistic education, as opposed to scholastic instruction of their children, who will one day in the future carry on their lineage. Here are some valuable tips on Progressive Parenting.

  1. Total Acceptance of the Child. “We accept you from the hands of God – You are God’s gift to us – a wonderful gift…” Your children need you to accept them as they are, not as you want them to be. Accept them unconditionally as a gift and a blessing from God. Shouting and forbidding, each time they do something wrong, will only make them rear back and defy you. Talk over the matter gently, see their point of view and guide them to the right path.
  2. Enhance your child’s self-esteem. Self-esteem refers to how a person feels about himself. Children with high self-esteem tend to be happier and more confident than children with low self-esteem. Progressive parents promote their children’s self-esteem through praise and appreciation and by being fully involved in their lives and letting them know that they are highly valued.
  3. Spending Quality Time with your Children. Parents who love their children demonstrate their love by spending quality and quantity time together. Determine how much time you need to spend with each of your children each week, and factor it into your schedule.

“In bringing up children spend on them half as much money and twice as much time.” Author Unknown

  1. Loving the children unconditionally. “Love me when I least deserve it, that’s when I really need it.” Harold Hulbert. In order to love your children, you must remember that: (a) they are children (b) they tend to act like children (c) much of the childish behaviour is unpleasant…
  2. Being a Character Role-Model. You are the window through which your children will see their future. Be a fine role model. By your character and example, you are teaching your kids constantly. Sometimes we forget that children watch examples better than they listen to our teaching. “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” Robert Fulghum.
  3. Disciplining Your Children. Discipline is loving firmness. It is direction. It is formation. It is pre-empting of a problem before it arrives. It is an active love. Sometimes, you have to be unkind to be kind. Not all medicine is sweet, not all surgery is painless. “Discipline your son in his early years while there is still hope. If you don’t you will ruin his life.” Anonymous.  “Don’t hesitate to discipline a child. It may save his life” (Prov 23:13)
  4. Listening to your Children. The first duty of love is to listen – Paul Tillich
    Daddy, you have to listen to me with your eyes as well as your ears
  5. Grooming your Children in Behaviour and Manners. Personal manners, social manners, manners in conversation, respecting others privacy etc.
  6. Motivating your children. Motivation is what makes children do things. Motivate your children and you will surprised to see how fast motivated children can run.
  7. Developing Your Child’s Talents. It is the responsibility of every parent to identify and nurture the talents of their children.
  8. Saving your child from Peer pressure. Typical forms of peer pressure is when kids the same age urge their friends to smoke, to drink, do drugs, have sex, cheat on tests, gossip, agitate  or ostracize less popular members of the group…

What must you do?

  • Develop a good relationship
  • Teach your children to think & decide
  • Help them to get away from a bad situation
  • Teach your child to say ‘NO”
  1. Ability to solve your child’s problems
    1. Acknowledge the Problem
    2. Discuss the Problem
    3. Listen to the Problem
    4. Brain-storm for possible solutions
    5. Agree on a workable solution
    6. Evaluate

Conclusion: Little children don’t understand everything that’s going on, but they trust you that you understand, that what you say goes, and what you say is true; they believe in you. That’s why it’s so important to handle their hearts prayerfully and with utmost care.

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About Author

Dr John Parankimalil, popularly called Fr. P.D. Johny is largely remembered for the change and transformation he brought into St. Anthony’s Higher Secondary School. He received the 1st Computer Excellence Award for Schools from Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, the President of India in August 2002. He was the National President of All India Association of Catholic Schools (AINACS)

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